


Humanity

by It_MightBe_Love



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 01:05:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/It_MightBe_Love/pseuds/It_MightBe_Love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wonders at a Humanity worth saving and finds it in the shape of the Human he has already saved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humanity

The thing is, what if his Brother's are right? Castiel catches the thought before it can snowball into something more blasphemous than that. He knows now that God may be listening but it's a half ear to the radio with the television still on in the background sort of listening.

His Father seems to approve of rebelling up to a point but Castiel was and always will be a soldier and Dean had learned quickly the orders work better when paired with a sucker-punch pout and a bat of those ridiculous green eyes of his.

Castiel never understood what made humans so special before. He knew that his Father had made them, had created them to be perfect but he watched for years and years and the only perfection he ever found was in their death. He knows this is not what his Father meant by love them above all things; but sometimes he wonders why he fights to save them when they are so unworthy of being saved.

Dean says it breaks his heart that Castiel cannot understand what is so beautiful about Humanity and it takes him a year to finally grasp at the concept. Hearing Dean calling him soulless and spineless makes his chest lurch in a way he is not comfortable with.

He rebels.

Dean is Humanity personified. Given shape and Castiel has seen inside of Dean Winchester. He found him, he raised him from the worst depths of Hell and remade him. Stitched his skin back together with his very hands. Poured his soul into living flesh and forced his heart to beat. Castiel knows the darkest recesses of Dean's mind and even in those shadowed corners he finds hope.

He finds the fledgling shape of that thing he calls Faith eking into shiny brightness.

He wishes he could cup that tiny light and coax it into the kind of fierceness this war needs. Until then he knows that Humanity is not worth saving, but Dean is. Dean is flawed and hopeful, full of a rage so imminent and spiraling that it leaves Castiel no doubt as to why he is Michael's chosen vessel. Hope pours from every surface of Dean, the kind of hope that Castiel has only ever witnessed in the most devout of men.

He would be envious were he not so awed by his Human's endless ability to love. To find light in the darkness. Dean says that is the thing about Humanity. Humans are the worst sort of monster but they're also the best sort of perfection. Team Free Will and all those things Dean talks about that Castiel understands but can never wholly grasp.

Dean loves infinitely.

Every person he meets is touched by his ability to love and that is what baffles Castiel the most. After the horrors Dean has witnessed at the hands of his own race that he can still love them so wholly and without reserve - it gives Castiel hope. It rekindles his faith.

This is how Castiel comes to understand Humanity. At the hands of a man rough with too much to say and no way to say it. Castiel learns the shape of religion at the touch of Dean's mouth, at the corner of his lips where a secret smile lingers, smug and waiting to be given freedom. Castiel learns hope in the twist clench of fingers wrapped around his biceps and the taste of it.

Castiel does not believe Humanity is entirely worth saving, but Dean Winchester is and Dean is his. Castiel found him, raised him and pieced him back together. Dean owns a piece of Castiel's immortal soul. His Grace shines from the waxy surface of his mark on Dean's body. Castiel found Dean. He gets to keep him, and in keeping him he will find a Humanity worth saving.


End file.
